2 Weeks Post Op - The Joy of Eating

I have missed eating. Just yesterday I was able to have what I consider real food...meat. Yesterday for breakfast I had scrambled egg substitute for breakfast and for dinner tuna with light mayo, it felt a little like heaven. One thing I am struggling with is pacing myself when eating. You know, small bites at an extremely slow pace...the small bites are happening, the slow pace not so much. I very much feel the effects of eating too fast, it hurts. Pain that radiates in my stomach (what's left anyway) to my back. The pain passes after several minutes, but it really does hurt. As far as eating goes I must say that I still don't feel hungry, but I have noticed that I still crave sweets, not as much as I used to though. This last week I also got my favorite Starbucks drink, chai tea latte. I ordered a tall and the two sips I had were amazing. After those two sips it went in the fridge and by taking a couple sips here and there it lasted me all week and I was quite satisfied.

Another thing that happened this week is that I went back to work. I was very worried about trying to wear pants again. Luckily, most of my swelling has subsided and I was able to wear pants I haven't worn in several years. After being on my feet all day teaching I did notice that I swelled a little bit and my pants were tighter. As soon as I got home (which is usually what I would have done anyway) I slipped into my comfy pants and all was right with the world. I love wearing comfy pants, and have a whole new found appreciation for them after this procedure.

 I want to share how sick I am of taking medicine. The 3000 mg daily of antibiotics I am on are recking havoc on my digestive tract as well another side effect that only a women could sympathize with. I feel like I am taking a ridiculous amount of pills and I will be so glad when I am done taking these antibiotics for H pylori. I am really looking forward to taking less pills, which will happen in a few days. Another great thing, after I shopped all day yesterday I was thrilled to feel like my old self. My shopping endurance and stamina have returned, praise sweet baby Jesus! Everyday I feel better. I am still getting used to my new normal and so far I am very satisfied with my progress.

1 Week Post-Op

This has been a long, hard week.  No one tells you how sore you will be after having WLS. I'm here to tell you, you will be sore.  Especially on your left side, specifically the incision that they take out your stomach.  You should also know, those crazy ultra bariatric vitamins made me miserable, so err on the side of caution when you take your 1st one.  The room was spinning and I couldn't function for a full day kind of sick.

I also found out on Tuesday I tested positive for the H Pylori bacteria.  No big deal and it is now being treated with antibiotics, a lot of antibiotics.  However, I am irritated over the whole testing process and unnecessary expense I incurred.  My doctor indicated that I would need to be tested for this bacteria at least 1 week prior to surgery so I could start antibiotic treatment prior to surgery. So my EGD was 8 days prior to my surgery.  I wasn't notified I tested positive for this until almost 2 weeks later, which was several days after my surgery.  I don't understand if it is okay to notify me and treat this issue after my WLS why I had to have a separate EGD procedure, because they could have easily done this the same day as my actual WLS surgery.  So I am not exactly happy about that.  So if you are a WLS candidate ask to have your EGD done at the same time they do your WLS.  There isn't a legitimate reason (other than to make more $) your Dr. should deny this request.

I had my staples (9 of them) and 1 stitch taken out today.  It was painless and fast.  I let my Dr. know about the issue with the bariatric multivitamin, he said that it was fine to just take a regular multi-vitamin plus B-Complex.  Today was my first day to really be out and about and I feel worn out.  I went to 3 stores, my back is achy and I feel exhausted.  I have not felt any hunger since my surgery however today as I felt my energy draining I knew I needed to refuel.  So I went home and had a few tablespoons of egg drop soup.  Before surgery I could shop for days, without sleep and not tire, I love to shop.  The exhaustion I experienced after a few hours of shopping was an unpleasant surprise and I hope that I build-up my shopping stamina to pre-surgery levels.  The other great thing that happened today is that I administered my last lovenox shot, the shots weren't that bad, but I am so glad to not have to do that anymore.  I should add that I am still pretty sore, but everyday the pain is less.

My husband and family say they see a noticeable difference in my appearance, but I don't see it yet. The difference I have noticed is on the scale, which I am happy about.  I will post pictures in my photo gallery tomorrow and you can judge for your self.

The Post Op Experience

I had my surgery Thursday, came home Friday, and as I type this it is Saturday evening.  Surgery went well as far as I can tell and I felt like I had top notch care.  When I woke up from surgery I wasn't in any pain, just extremely thirsty.  It wasn't until today that I feel like my saliva glands started working again.  During my short stay in the hospital I dozed in and out of sleep and I walked the halls several times.  After the anesthesia wore off I felt pain in my abdomen where the drain tube was located under my rib cage.  I so glad to have it taken out.  Getting in and out of bed is still difficult as well as bending over, twisting, or getting up and down.  I am very sore at an incision site on my left side, apparently thats where they take out the part of the stomach that is removed.  It hurts to laugh, sneeze and blow my nose.  And today the pain has got the best of me and I broke down and took 1/2 a dose of pain medicine.  Wow what a difference that made, I feel human again.

On the flip side I was really scared about giving myself the lovenox shots, I have mastered that and have not problem doing it, (yeaaaa me). I don't even feel the stick.  I have also noticed since I have been home I am extra sensitive to smells, like when I was pregnant.  I smell things no one else can smell, it's weird and I hope it goes away.  While in the hospital the nurses encourage you to belch (during surgery you get blown up with CO2) to get the gas out because it's painful if it migrates up into your chest.  Well mine migrated alright, but not to my chest, if you know what I mean.  It's great because when it's time to release the "gas" it's pretty obnoxious in both sound and smell, but I must say it feels so good when it happens....and inadvertently I can't help but laugh, which is painful.  My family is both disgusted and entertained by my behavior, which is exactly how they were prior to WLS.

I also feel as though I have bad breath all the time, like hungry stomach bad breath, maybe I don't but I am erring on the side of caution with a lot of teeth brushing and breath mints.  This could be another one of those smell sensitivities I've developed.  

So, I didn't buy sugar free jello, big mistake.  It is waaaay too sweet and I just didn't like it.  So I got some sugar free jello and it is perfection.  I also love my chicken broth, why didn't I ever eat this stuff before?  Or maybe I love them because I haven't had real food in over a week, yep that's probably it.  I also recommend going to your closest Sonic and buying the biggest bag of Sonic ice they sell.  It helps with hydration and keeps your mouth busy!  I recommend that you walk and do as much as you can tolerate, it helps wake up your digestive tract, helps with healing, and also helps move the gas out of your body.  

Also don't try to wear jeans, even jeans that were very loose in the waist, I did this and was miserable.  Just don't do it.  I will be in my comfy pants as long as I can be from this point on.

Dear food, we're breaking up

Most of us who schedule WLS have to subject ourselves to a required liquid diet.  I have tried a liquid diet type of program before....but I still got to have one meal and a couple snacks as part of that diet.  That is not the case with my required one week pre-op liquid diet.  I know it's one week and I WILL do it, but it is hard.

Today is day three, last night I had a mild meltdown missing food. Let me just say, the protein shakes I drink 3 times per day are pretty good, they are premade and taste like chocolate milk.  They contain 30g of protein and 160 calories per Shake.  I am drinking no less than 96oz of water per day, this helps with hunger...my issue isn't hunger, I haven't been hungery.  

My issue is what a would call  head hunger...you know when you are sitting on the couch watching your favorite shows and for some reason, but not hunger, you are compelled to go to pantry for some potatoe chips. That's what I am dealing with....and something tells me if I paid more attention to this screwed up compulsion may not be at a weight that qualifies me for WLS.

I am a sweets/carb over indulger.  Any cookies, cakes, pasteries, breads, candy, pastas I love them all.  Oddly enough I am not missing these things....yet.  I am craving things that I rarely ever ate....taco bell refried beans, seriously who craves that! I am craving Mexican food, which I have never liked, an Arby's Reuben sandwhich, and Long John Silvers fish drowned in vinegar (mmmmm).  All strange because I don't eat fast food often and because it's not sweets.  

My mind is trying to screw with my success on this liquid diet, it is so hard to not give in.  I keep telling myself it's only 7 days, but I am not even half way through at this point.  I miss food and just want to put something crunchy or chewy in my mouth.

I am going to do this, but in my head I am kicking and screaming all the way and there may be a few times I shed some real tears....my poor family!  

This is it food, this is the real deal and while we've had some good times I think I've loved you more than you've loved me. This is me breaking up with you.  I know you will always be a part of my life, but I am changing the terms of our relationship.  

How did I get here?

Okay not literally how did I get here on earth, but how did I get to this place in my life. Let me just start by saying, or blogging rather, that I have a great life.  I have been married since I was a baby, 19 years old to be exact.  My life prior to marriage wasn't ideal, but no one's is and I have dealt with those demons, or at least that's what I tell myself.  

So why blog and why now?  Well I have come to a crossroads in my life where I am both disgusted with myself and in a place I am serious about doing something to change.  I am blogging because it's cathartic for me and I hope that someone finds what I blog about helpful in someway.

In my personal life am a pretty quiet and introverted.  I like to socialize with my family, friends and colleagues, but I don't go out of my way to insert myself in social situations.  I am happy minding my business and living my life.  You are probably wondering about the disgust with myself I mentioned earlier....  

I WEIGH 240 LBS (yea I said it and put it out there for the world to see) and I am disgusted that I let myself get here.  

I am roughly 5'8" and I haven't always weighed this much.  When I got married I weighed 156lbs. I was young and active and never really thought a lot about my weight or trying to maintain it.  As the years passed I packed on the weight, although I was fairly active and exercised often.  I have yo-yo dieted for years and tried every diet under the sun. I have lost a lot of weight only to gain it back plus some.  Prior to having my son, I weighed 193 pounds, I gained a lot of weight during that pregnancy.  Once the scaled tipped 254lbs I asked the doctor not to let me see my weight.  After I had my son, I had some complications that caused me to not eat, in less than 6 months I was down to 186lbs and I was happy about it. After I was treated for the complications associated with that pregnancy my weight avalanched and I was teetering between 230-240lbs.  With my second child I unintentionally maintained a healthy weight gain for that pregnancy.  I only gained 23lbs and within a year I was back down to 236 lbs, which was my pre pregnancy weight.  

So here I am now, almost 4 years and as many diets later, 240lbs.  For the last three years (while still dieting) I have been researching weight-loss surgery.  I have went to several weight-loss surgery seminars and have settled on a doctor and a procedure.  At this point I am one week away from a different me.  I have chosen the gastric sleeve procedure and today I had a pre-operative EGD completed.  Don't be fooled, I do not expect a quick fix to my obesity. However, I do expect that this procedure will be the tool I need to make better choices and live a healthier, longer life.

I don't like how I look or how I feel physically and more importantly I want to be healthy and set a good example for my kids. So support me on my journey or not, this is my freak show and I get to run it my way.