Life Gets Busy

Summer is in full swing and it may seem like I haven't been keeping as close track of my weight since I haven't updated my blog lately. That couldn't be further from the truth, I am still weighing myself every thursday (and Sunday) and continuing my healthy lifestyle. I have just been so busy with yard work, projects, and taxi-ing my son to his sports that I haven't had time to sit down and post whats been going on. So today will be a big catch-up day on my progress.

So last time we chatted I told you about the protein goals that the Dr. told me I needed to be following. In order to make sure I meet those goals I decided to download an intake tracker on my phone, My Fitness Pal. I love the program and since downloading I make sure I get in my 60-70g of protein per day. One of my favorite things about the program is the reminder notifications, if you haven't logged your breakfast by a certain time it sends a reminder notification to your phone to remind you to log it in. I love that and it has helped me to log diligently. The other thing it allows you to see is your daily intake percentages of carbs, protein, and fat. I like to keep my carbs the lowest percentage, but its more typical that they all are about equal percentages. This program will also let you track your exercise, and while I am exercising, I choose to not track it.

Using the food tracker helped me see that I needed to increase my protein and decrease my carbs, so I went to Pinterest to find some gluten free high protein, low carb snack options. I found a couple that I decided to try. A Blueberry Muffin protein ball, and a Pumpkin protein ball. I bought all the ingredients and whipped up a batch of each of these snacks. OH Mhhhy GURRR, they were DISGUSTING! And it's not because I made them wrong, they were just plan grotesque. Needless to say they were immediately thrown out and as I type this I am gagging a little just thinking about them. After that failure, I went on the hunt for a high protein, low sugar, low carb, gluten free protein bar. I found a couple I really like, the brand is Quest and I really like the flavors coconut cashew and cookies and cream, both really good. I usually have half a bar between breakfast and lunch and the other half between lunch and dinner. A full bar contains 20g of protein so that has really helped to boost my protein numbers. Another snack I have found that is low in carbs but high in protein is greek yogurt, I get the low calorie kind and depending on the flavor they have about 10-12 grams of protein. Another gluten free snack I have found in gluten free cinnamon Chex. I love that stuff, but honestly it's not that healthy and really increases my carbs so when this box is gone I wont be buying it again. I divided the box into single servings in ziploc bags so my portion sizes are already measured and I don't overeat, but like I said, I wont be buying them again because they are not helping me reach my goals

Before WLS I was never a burger eater, I just had a thing about any pattied meat, something about the texture grossed me out. Something has changed, my husband was grilling out the other day and the smell of the burgers he was cooking was DIVINE. So I decided to try one, it was so juicy and delicious in my mouth. So I have officially been converted to a burger eating fool. Every time we have grilled out since I have ate a burger and loved every minute it was in my mouth. I eat my burger with a slice of cheddar and it is amazing, all these years I have been missing out on burgers!

So my family has slacked on the family fitness challenge. I was probably the first to jump ship. I hate running, I especially hate the treadmill. I am one of those people that really needs to actually go the distance, otherwise it's too easy to just jump off the treadmill when I get uncomfortable. If I walk 3 miles one way I still gotta get home somehow, so that means I gotta go the 3 miles home. I haven't been walking or running, but I have been riding my bike about every other day. I am averaging around 8 miles in distance and each time I go out I try to push myself a little further each time. I have only found 1 hill I haven't been able to completely climb up, but I will conquer that by the time I post again. It's really amazing the difference of how my body feels riding a bike, I feel like I have better balance and my rear doesn't hurt nearly as bad on the seat. I've been doing it so often it doesn't hurt at all, but I am only on the bike for like 45 minutes. Also, since the last time I posted I went and worked out with a childhood friend. It was great to catch up with her, but the workout felt like a circut workout without the weights. You know where you move station to station doing a specific workout for a set amount of time, and I am just not into that. I'm a little artsy fartsy, if I workout I want it to be fun, like dancing, pole dancing, or arial silk fitness. As of today I am 20 pounds from my goal weight range, and I can't wait to see what my body looks like when I get there.

Slow Progress is Still Progress

For this last week I have really tried to meet the protein quota, 60-70g of protein a day. It has not been easy. Every morning has been egg beaters with a quarter cup of cheese. I never thought I could tire of eating eggs, but it has definitely happened. When I figured how much protein I was getting from 3 meals, I am still shy of hitting 60g so I thought it would be a good idea to have add a protein bar to my meals, one a day, half in the morning the other half in the evening. I have been eating the Quest Coconut Cashew bars. It has 20 grams of protein which really boost my protein into that 60-70g range per day. Not to mention the protein bar tastes amazing, I really enjoy eating it. So my goal this next week is to find some high protein breakfast options so I am not stuck eating egg beaters everyday.

My week has been uneventful but extremely busy. I spent 2 days sanding and refinishing a used patio set I purchased. The backs of my legs hurt from all the standing and bending over to sand and paint and my right arm hurts from using the spray paint cans. My husband did not have a lot of faith in me to transform what looked like trash into a treasure we could use. I did it, and he was impressed with how well it turned out. I decided after doing that that I would refinish two old patio chairs that we have had a long time. Those chairs turned out equally as well and I am super happy with the results.

It's finally warm enough that we have been able to swim nearly everyday this week, I got to work on my tan while my kids wore themselves out in the pool. My family has been continuing our fitness challenge that I mentioned this week. I am amazed by both my husband and my son, both have set personal records in their one mile runs. My son is running a 7 minute mile, and my husband ran an 8:19 minute mile. My best time is 10:47, and it likened to kill me. My end goal is to run that mile in less than 10 minutes. I am still struggling with sit-ups, but I do what I can in hopes that the next day I can do more. I have been able to do 25 push ups and can hold a plank for 1 minute 30 seconds. I have found that music is really important when I run, I tend to keep pace with whatever I listen to. If you have suggestions for great running or workout songs I would love to hear them.

Doing Everything Right, WRONG.

This week is a mixed bag of emotions for me. I am so happy to have lost the weight I have up to this point, but in the last couple weeks my weightloss can be measured in ounces and not pounds, for that I am frustrated. I feel like I am doing everything right, but something must be off. I went in for my 3 month post-op check up and the Dr. said the calorie intake sweet spot for weightloss is 800-1200 calories. He also said I should not be concerning myself with calories only meeting my protein goals, if I meet the protein goals I should be in the sweet spot calorie range. To refresh my memory about what my diet should be I looked back through my WLS nutritional guideline book. I should be getting about 60-70 grams of protein a day. I have been getting 40-50 grams, so this could be part of my problem. I also have been recording my calorie intake and most days I barely meet the calorie sweet spot. So this next week, I will be taking great effort to increase both my protein and calories to see if that will add some fuel to my metabolism.

This week I found a couple of new super tasty things to add to my menu. Both can be found at Costco and my entire family loves them both. This really says a lot when my red meat and potato lovin' husband says my gluten free healthy food choices are really good. So the first is Andouille Chicken Sausage. Each link contains 5g of fat, 15g of protein, and has 120 calories. One link and I am FULL. What is strange about this for me is that prior to WLS surgery I did not enjoy spicy foods, but these sausages have a little kick and I really like them.

The second item is more of a snack food item, I don't do a lot of snacking but when I do I want it to be good for me. This is a dip. Remember those gluten free Chipins Chips I told you about a couple of weeks ago...this dip is really good with those (both the cheddar and cinnamon flavors). Two tablespoons of this dip contains 3.5 grams of fat, 2g of protein, and has 50 calories. This is a gluten free product that is made with probiotic yogurt, so it promotes healthy digestion (something I need).

So this last week I have cleaned out my closet and only about 1/3 of my clothes still fit, that's great right! Most women have an outfit that they can put on and feel pretty in. Mine was this adorable curve hugging, cleavage revealing, short black dress. I loved the way I looked and felt in it. I was a little saddened when I tried in on during my closet cleaning and it hung on me like a sack. I loved that dress, but now it doesn't fit my new body. At this point I don't have a LBD (little black dress) that gives me that same feeling. In fact when I try on new clothes I am struggling to find things that I think flatter this new body. Enough whining. I am just trying to adjust to the changes and I know I will, it will happen in time. For now I am not looking for a replacement LBD because I know my weight will still do a lot of changing and I want to wait until I stabilize to look.

Also this week my family decided to do a one month fitness challenge. In one month we want to see how we can improve in 4 fitness areas: 1 mile run, 1 minute sit-ups, push ups, and planks. Believe it or not I ran the mile, I am slower that molasses, but I ran it which is a pretty big deal for me. Last night was our third night of the challenge, I opted out of running because my thighs hurt, but I did the other activities. Both my husband and myself are feeling the pain from the push ups and planks, but we don't really notice the pain until we have to use our upper body muscles. The area I am probably the most sore today is my abs. Folks I can barely do a sit-up, I really try hard but it is a struggle. My stomach muscles are so sore it hurts to pee. I am looking for alternative core exercises to avoid the strain sit-ups cause, if you have suggestions please send them to me. Once I build some core strength I hope to do sit-ups with ease.

Florida Vacation

We just got home from a week long vacation in Fort Myers, Florida. It was a great vacation and I am happy to say I did make my first goal of being in "one"derland before we left. I did make a second goal of 190, which I was a couple pounds shy of making. I am okay, because I know if I continue my new lifestyle those pounds will come off. When I sat in my seat on the plane, I noticed right away that I didn't feel squished in my seat as I have in the past. My hips did not touch the arm rests and I could comfortably cross my legs. It was hard to be away from a scale that long, I like to weigh a couple times a week just to check in on my progress. Our hotel, like most, did not have a scale in the room. So you can imagine the first thing I did when I got home was weigh. For several reasons I was not surprised that the scale hadn't moved much for a week. Like many people when I go on vacation my bowels also go on vacation, so I was plagued with constipation. This was exacerbated by Aunt Flo's visit for the month.

I have to say since weight loss surgery Aunt Flo's visits have been very different. Several years ago I had the endometrial ablation procedure. This procedure had been successful, I had not had a period since...until my weight loss surgery. Now I get visited once a month, it comes with all the symptoms of a regular cycle. I am not thrilled about this. I go for my three month post op follow up next week and I will be asking if this is normal.

While on vacation my eating was pretty much as it would be at home with a few exceptions. Splurges I indulged in: Dairy Queen strawberry shortcake blizzard, I had only a few bites, but it was goooood; A chocolate covered strawberry, yum; a desert sampling tray, again only a few bites; and a quarter of a bagel. During the week I thought I was keeping my indulgences in check, but now as I type them for my blog that seems like a lot of indulging and I will be working really hard this next week to make up for it.

I was pretty active on vacation. My husband and I walked 4 miles one morning. I also went paddle boarding with my son. That was a first for me, it was a lot of fun and as difficult as I thought it would be. Paddle boarding is a serious leg workout, my thighs hurt for several days after. I can't wait to go on vacation and try it again. I kicked the soccer ball around with my son and we played paddle ball on the beach. All sports are better and more fun when they are played on the beach.

The last time we had family pictures was about 10 years ago, I was close to the weight back then that I am now. My family was overdue for family pictures so even though I am not the weight I want to be I went ahead and scheduled family pictures on the beach. I haven't got to see them yet, but I think (hope) they will turn out great. I will let you know.

Feeling "One"derful

So this was a good week, I was really expecting it to be after last week. I have enjoyed some good things this past week, and really yummy thing but not very nutritious. I really miss crunchy things like chips, so I set out to find a healthier, gluten free alternative. I found these chips at Walmart. They are called Chipins and my favorite is the cinnamon sugar flavor. They are crunchy, a little sweet and a lot good. In between soccer games this weekend my family went to the Cheesecake Factory, it's not my favorite food place, but I gotta say they do cheesecake right. I ordered some chicken dish, it wasn't good so I only had a couple bites, but I did order a piece of blueberry cheesecake. It was heavenly! I enjoyed that piece of cheesecake for 3 days, and relished in every bite. Enough talk about that or I will work myself up into a food frenzy. I have tired of eating tuna, if I am going to eat protein I want it to be warm. Another thing that I have reintroduced in my diet is hard boiled eggs, love them.

I have been very active this week. We opened our pool and it has been a serious arm workout getting it ready. I scrubbed the pools walls Tuesday, and just today I am able to lift my arms over my head with out terrible pain. My arms and shoulders were like overcooked noodles and extremely sore. We have been vacuuming the pool a couple times a day. I am not complaining, I actually like doing it, it's kind of relaxing like mowing. Anyway, all of this pool maintenance just adds to the soreness of my arms. I have also been working in my yard installing solar lights. I like the way it looks with my new lights. So while I haven't been formally exercising or working out, I have been very active this week.

The Hubs and I celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary this past week. We didn't do anything special, but every year we do write love letters to each other to celebrate. It's something I really treasure and love that we do this for each other. I can't say enough great things about my husband, I am deeply, madly, crazy in love with him, even more today than 19 years ago.

Frienemies and Weight Loss (or lack there of)

My food consumption this week has been very similar to the past several weeks, however my weight loss was non existent. One ounce, that's the difference between my weight this morning and my weight one week ago. I am feeling discouraged. I did notice that it was about 4 weeks ago when I felt like I had a weight loss stall. At that time, my frienemy Flo was visiting just as she has been this last week. So keeping my fingers crossed that the bloating and hormones are causing me to hold on to weight. If I don't see more of a weight loss next week I will be calling my doctor.

So even though my diet is now unrestricted, I am sticking to what has been working plus adding a few things I have missed, like salad. I love salad, especially a good spinach leaf salad. So for Mother's Day my family took me to Houlihan's and I had their grilled chicken fruit summer salad. I made 4 meals out of that salad. It was so good and I look forward to the next time I get to have one. I also tried a martini. I don't think this smaller stomach is interested in tolerating liquor. A little sip burned all the way down, so it will be a long time before I attempt liquor again. Although, I did have a drink of my husband's beer a few days ago did not feel that burning sensation.

I think I have mentioned before how much I love to shop, and I still do. However, shopping for myself has become less fun, I just can't seem to find things that I think flatter my figure. Hopefully, as I lose more weight my perception will change. I have broke down and bought new bras, my boobs aren't really smaller, but my band size has definitely changed. This next week I hope to get further into one"derland."

8 Weeks Post Op - Last Week of Lock down

This has been another good week for many reasons. Today was the last day of class for me, so I am officially on summer break now. This week I also completed all my final assignments and projects for the classes I am taking and it is a relief to be done. On top of all that my weight continues to decrease. Although, this week weight loss has been a little bittersweet. This week the goal was to get to "one"derland, and it didn't happen, kinda. This past monday I was feeling particularly good and had a busy day doing yard work. So when I came in for the day I weighed....my weight was 199.2, I took a picture. I was so happy. I decided not to weigh again until my normal weigh-in day....Thursday. I fully expected to get on the scale today and be less than what I weighed Monday. It didn't happen and this morning I weighed 200.0 lbs. I was really disappointed. I had to remind myself, that I am less than I was last Thursday and that is what is important. Hormones and hydration can cause weight fluctuations, and to make myself feel better I am totally using both as a cop out for mine. I have set a new goal to be at 190 lbs before we leave for vacation, I am really going to try to get there.

I haven't tried any new foods, but I look forward to my unrestricted diet starting tomorrow. I plan to continue with the following changes in my diet: Avoid breads, pasta, and flour foods, eat the lowest amount of carbs at dinner and highest amount for breakfast, eat a high protein lunch around 2pm(ish), avoid snacking. I feel like this has been the key to success so far and I want to continue down this path. This last week I had a fun size york peppermint pattie, one of my favorite candies. After I consumed it I had to look up the nutrition content, it has 50 calories, that is almost half the calories I consume for dinner when I eat fish. That's a lot of calories for such little nutrition benefit. Needless to say, it just wasn't as good as it used to be, and I just don't want to spend time consuming calories that don't really benefit my body. When you consume about 800 calories per day, there just isn't room for 50 calories of crap. It's a weird thing to say, coming from a recovering crap lover.

I finally weigh less than my husband, so I am calling off my mission to sabotage his dieting efforts. Don't get me wrong, my husband is a hottie, but it sure feels good to have a lower number than him, even if it's just by a few ounces. I mean really what's a healthier longer life without the man I love by my side?

7 Weeks Post Op - I'll take another week like this

I had a significant weightloss this week, and it couldn't have come at a better time. However I did not see a significant change in my other measurements from 2 weeks ago. I have not weighed this number since 2004. The really great feeling is to know I will never be here again and that this is just a pitstop on the way to less fatville. The other really exciting thing is how close I am now to weighing less than 200lbs, that will be an exciting weigh in and I hope that it's next week!

This next week is the last week of my restricted diet, I am excited to introduce protien other than fish and poultry in my diet. Although I have found some really great fish to eat. If you have never tried Gorton's Simply Bake tilapia and salmon you are missing out. They are delicious and I am able to almost eat a who serving. They are extremely high in protein and low in fat and calories, but packed full of flavor and yumminess.

This week I consumed a couple of new things...my husband took me to one of my favorite pre-surgery food places, The Canoe Club in Lake Latowana. They have the best spinach and artichoke dip. They serve it with fried pita bread, it is the best spin dip I have ever had. Anyway, we went and I had a couple bites. The pita bread is the first bread I have had since before surgery, it was good. All of it was so tasty, but I couldn't eat much of it, I was just full. That is a welcome change because prior to surgery I could have finished it off, by myself. Another thing I had this week, peanut butter. It was so good, I just had a spoonful, and enjoyed every minute of eating it.

My clothes are fitting very loose now. I will be having a garage sale sometime this summer to get rid of everything and raise funds to buy new stuff. Once I get to one-derland I will be rewarding myself with some new tennis shoes. I went to my favorite thick figured lady store, Lane Bryant, tried on several things in the smallest size available, nothing fit. Lane Bryant has been a big part of my life the last several years, so it is definitely a big deal to not be able to fit their clothes anymore. I also went to Maurices, a cute trendy clothing store, and for the first time in I don't know when I am able to fit in clothes in their "normal" size section.

So this next week also marks the end of the semester for me. I hope to be less stressed, have more time to work in my yard, exercise and work on some crafting projects I have in mind. I am pretty excited about getting to fill my time (for a couple months) with things I want to do instead of things I have to.

6 Weeks Post Op - Better Late than Never

My post is later than normal and I forgot to take my measurements (I am telling you as if you didn't notice), but I did weigh and take pictures on time (Thursday). My weight loss is better this week than last, so for that I am happy. This has been a difficult week. Easter is a hard food holiday for me because of the candy. I LOVE Easter candy, and while it was hard I made it and so did my children's Easter candy (unscathed by me, which is huge). I have resisted the temptation to eat any of the candy, and it has been an extreme test to my will power, but up to this point I have done it, and I plan to continue to fight the good fight. Logically, I know I can have a piece of candy I also know I don't usually stop at one, maybe one bag, but never one piece. In my mind, eating that one piece is would be the slippery slope to failure for me, and I am not failing. So until I feel like I have some self-control, no candy for me.

When you have gastric sleeve surgery you should expect to be on prescription prilosec for a minimum of two months post surgery. Friday before Easter I took the last of my first month's prilosec prescription. So, Easter Sunday I did not have any prilosec to take. For the first time since before my surgery I had some wine at our family gathering on Easter Sunday. One itty bitty, tiny taste of wine was all I could take, it burned once it hit my stomach. I am certain this would not have been the case if I had taken my medicine. As soon as the pharmacy opened Monday morning I got my prescription refilled. I am just wondering, will two months of this medicine be enough? Will I ever be able to enjoy my favorite adult beverages again? Time will tell.

This past week my husband and I did a ton of yard work. I mowed, pulled weeds, cleared brush and cut trees from our fence line, planted grass seed, and treated our grass for weeds. I say "I" but really it was a joint effort between my husband and myself. It was a lot of work. It felt good to work in my yard, but I could feel it in my back and legs the next day. I can't wait till my schedule lightens up a bit so I can devote more time to my my yard.

This week I have had a good food week. I cooked my family spaghetti, I made myself an alternative meal. I strained some of the spaghetti sauce over rotisserie chicken breast. That way I still felt like I was eating what they were eating without the pasta and the pork. It was delicious, and is one of my new favorite things to eat. I have started to eat less yogurt and instead will eat more chicken, turkey, or tuna. I still get full really fast, but am really noticing my old appetite returning. I have said it before, I am not hungry, but unless my body is busy doing something I want to eat. So I have been trying to keep myself really busy. I am taking classes right now, and sitting down doing research and homework for my classes is when I most want to eat. So I have been trying to keep my mouth busy with gum. I have always loved gum, but on the days I chew gum I notice extreme bloating and gas issues. The gum helps me not eat when I shouldn't be, so friends & family buy a gas mask.

I am getting close to "one"-derland (if you don't know what this means, you've probably never been over two-hundred pounds). I know I will get there soon and am very excited. My family is going on vacation soon and I hope to be in "one"-derland by the time we go. So exercise and continuing my new food habits will be imperative to reaching this goal. I have to say I am a little disappointed though. I have lost about 32 pounds now and no one has really noticed (besides myself, husband, and kids). I thought when I went to my families Easter dinner someone would mention that I looked like I had lost weight, but no one said a word. I have family who we haven't seen for like 5 months, and they didn't notice. My friends, who I see infrequently, haven't noticed. So I have to wonder, have I been so fat that a 32 lb weight lost hasn't put a dent in my appearance? I can see a difference, my clothes are fitting very differently and I know that's all that really matters. This is something I am doing for myself and no one else, but let's face it, it's nice when your hard work is acknowledged by others.

5 Weeks Post Op- Disappointing Results

It was another great week, or so I thought until I got on the scale. After following the WLS dietary guidelines and consuming very little, just as I have done in previous weeks, I have only lost 1 pound this week. I am frustrated, but not defeated. Quit honestly, around 30 lbs of weight loss is usually where I plateau normally and fall back into bad habits. I am hopeful the WLS tool will help me push through this weight loss stall to continue to lose weight. So this next week I am going to try to step up my physical activity to offset whatever is going on in my body and try to have greater weight loss next week.

This past week I tried added a couple new items to my menu, rotisserie chicken and canned pineapple. I chopped up the chicken added a little light mayo to make a chicken salad type of mixture. I have been eating it for several days, it is pretty good and definitely smells better than tuna. I added a little pineapple to some cottage cheese, it is good, but not better than with grapes. Easter is one of my favorite holidays, mainly because of those damn mini robin eggs, marshmallow 3 musketeers and marshmallow bunnies. I LOVE Easter candy, so it's a particularly challenging food holiday for me. I got a whiff of a Reese's peanut butter cup today and I nearly lost control.

I am not sure if my metabolism is responding to the lack of calories, but I have been tired lately. I try to push through the sleepiness, and have only let a couple unimportant things fall through the cracks. This is a really busy time of year for me and I don't have time for sluggishness, so I hope whatever this is passes soon.

4 Weeks Post Op - Better Every Day

It's been another great week.  I have tried a few new foods and they have all been great.  I tried salmon again, it was the best salmon I have ever had.  My husband and I went to The Range restaurant at Harrah's Casino, and I reluctantly ordered the salmon.  One because it was expensive and I knew I would only have a few bites of it and I won't eat fish left over, and two the first time I tried salmon it didn't go down easy.  The salmon was moist and dressed in a slightly sweet white sauce, just thinking about it makes me want to eat it again.  This week I have also reintroduced grapes and cottage cheese....together!  They are really complimentary foods and delicious together.  This week my family also tried a new BBQ restaurant, Plowboys in Blue Springs.  It was amazing.  I ordered the BBQ chicken sandwich and have made several meals from my left overs (no bread, just the chicken).

We spent the night at Harrah's and Saturday morning my husband was in a hurry to leave (if you know my husband, this is probably shocking to hear he was in a hurry to leave a casino).  I knew I needed to eat and told him as much, but you know how whiney men can get.  So I didn't get to eat breakfast, in fact it wasn't until about 2:30pm that I ate for the first time that day, and I was sick.  I felt motion sick, the room was spinning, I couldn't keep my balance, and honestly I felt like I could pass out.  So I finally ate some soup and laid down for a while.  I felt this way for about four days after this happened.  I think skipping a meal caused my electrolytes or something to be off and today I am just feeling like I have it under control.  So if you have WLS, DON'T SKIP MEALS.

This past week I did something I haven't done in years.....I bought a size 14 pair of pants.  It feels great to be able to buy a size in regular stores, in their normal misses section again.  I know that size 14 is a stepping stone and I will be getting smaller so I am not going crazy with a new wardrobe.... yet.  I am also making good on the commitment to exercise.  I am parking about a 1/2 mile away from work now to get in more walking and today I walked 2.8 miles.  The weather was beautiful today and it felt good to get out again and walk.

As I shared with you before my husband is trying to diet and I am actively trying to sabotage his efforts.  This week I made him tacos and as I was getting ready to add the taco seasoning to his meat he looked at me and said, "Are't you going to drain the grease from the beef before you do that?"  Whaaat? Of course I was going to drain the grease....only because I got caught.  You bet your sweet cellulite if he hadn't been looking I would not have drained the grease and served it to him just the same.  And like the other recent meals I have neglected (accidentally of course) to drain the grease from he would have complimented me and said these are the best tacos you have ever made!  This time I didn't get a compliment, but he did come back for fourths.

3 Weeks Post Op - Mind Games Anyone?

This past week has been successful. I feel great; my energy level is as high as it was previously, maybe even higher.  I am noticing my clothes are loser and I feel like I can see a difference in my body.  I am excited that in a few weeks the first number in my weight will be a 1 and not a 2.  I am even more thrilled that this is the last time I will ever weigh this much.

I am following the prescribed diet. With each passing day it gets more difficult to do the right thing with the food I eat. I want to eat something carb loaded, any sweet bread or pastry item would do. I have to remind myself, I am not hungry, but I am having a battle with my mind over food. It seems with each passing day these mind games are increasing. I am also feeling a little grumpy; I think it's from a lack of sugar...like a withdrawal symptom. I am trying my hardest to not give in. I keep telling myself one more day and I will win this mind game and these struggles will dissipate.  So for the naysayers who think weight loss surgery is a weight loss miracle, you couldn't be more misinformed.  If you do not follow the recommended diet you will not lose weight.  If you graze on food all day, you will not lose weight.  I had weight loss surgery, but I am losing weight because I am changing my relationship with food and eating very differently.

I am finally not taking all the medication for the H. Pylori and it has been a relief. The last few days of choking down those 3 huge pills two times a day was about to get the best of me. This past week I did have some grilled salmon; I had some difficult eating it so I won't be attempting it again for a while. It seems the foods I eat have to be very moist in order for me to eat them comfortably.  Right now my diet mainly consists of soup, tuna with a little light mayo, yogurt, and oatmeal.  I am drinking about 1/2 a protein shake every couple days, which is good, but I should be doing it every day.  With the exception of shopping I haven't added any physical activity.  This week I am committed to start walking again.

I am looking forward to weighing less than my husband, in order to reach this goal faster I have been preparing all his favorite meals to sabotage his attempts at dieting.  I know, I know I am a terrible wife. I have made him very aware of my intentions; he can diet for a week and lose 10 lbs.  Is it so wrong this wife wants to be a less fat hot mess than her man?  I think not, and he will thank me for it in the long run.     

2 Weeks Post Op - The Joy of Eating

I have missed eating. Just yesterday I was able to have what I consider real food...meat. Yesterday for breakfast I had scrambled egg substitute for breakfast and for dinner tuna with light mayo, it felt a little like heaven. One thing I am struggling with is pacing myself when eating. You know, small bites at an extremely slow pace...the small bites are happening, the slow pace not so much. I very much feel the effects of eating too fast, it hurts. Pain that radiates in my stomach (what's left anyway) to my back. The pain passes after several minutes, but it really does hurt. As far as eating goes I must say that I still don't feel hungry, but I have noticed that I still crave sweets, not as much as I used to though. This last week I also got my favorite Starbucks drink, chai tea latte. I ordered a tall and the two sips I had were amazing. After those two sips it went in the fridge and by taking a couple sips here and there it lasted me all week and I was quite satisfied.

Another thing that happened this week is that I went back to work. I was very worried about trying to wear pants again. Luckily, most of my swelling has subsided and I was able to wear pants I haven't worn in several years. After being on my feet all day teaching I did notice that I swelled a little bit and my pants were tighter. As soon as I got home (which is usually what I would have done anyway) I slipped into my comfy pants and all was right with the world. I love wearing comfy pants, and have a whole new found appreciation for them after this procedure.

 I want to share how sick I am of taking medicine. The 3000 mg daily of antibiotics I am on are recking havoc on my digestive tract as well another side effect that only a women could sympathize with. I feel like I am taking a ridiculous amount of pills and I will be so glad when I am done taking these antibiotics for H pylori. I am really looking forward to taking less pills, which will happen in a few days. Another great thing, after I shopped all day yesterday I was thrilled to feel like my old self. My shopping endurance and stamina have returned, praise sweet baby Jesus! Everyday I feel better. I am still getting used to my new normal and so far I am very satisfied with my progress.

1 Week Post-Op

This has been a long, hard week.  No one tells you how sore you will be after having WLS. I'm here to tell you, you will be sore.  Especially on your left side, specifically the incision that they take out your stomach.  You should also know, those crazy ultra bariatric vitamins made me miserable, so err on the side of caution when you take your 1st one.  The room was spinning and I couldn't function for a full day kind of sick.

I also found out on Tuesday I tested positive for the H Pylori bacteria.  No big deal and it is now being treated with antibiotics, a lot of antibiotics.  However, I am irritated over the whole testing process and unnecessary expense I incurred.  My doctor indicated that I would need to be tested for this bacteria at least 1 week prior to surgery so I could start antibiotic treatment prior to surgery. So my EGD was 8 days prior to my surgery.  I wasn't notified I tested positive for this until almost 2 weeks later, which was several days after my surgery.  I don't understand if it is okay to notify me and treat this issue after my WLS why I had to have a separate EGD procedure, because they could have easily done this the same day as my actual WLS surgery.  So I am not exactly happy about that.  So if you are a WLS candidate ask to have your EGD done at the same time they do your WLS.  There isn't a legitimate reason (other than to make more $) your Dr. should deny this request.

I had my staples (9 of them) and 1 stitch taken out today.  It was painless and fast.  I let my Dr. know about the issue with the bariatric multivitamin, he said that it was fine to just take a regular multi-vitamin plus B-Complex.  Today was my first day to really be out and about and I feel worn out.  I went to 3 stores, my back is achy and I feel exhausted.  I have not felt any hunger since my surgery however today as I felt my energy draining I knew I needed to refuel.  So I went home and had a few tablespoons of egg drop soup.  Before surgery I could shop for days, without sleep and not tire, I love to shop.  The exhaustion I experienced after a few hours of shopping was an unpleasant surprise and I hope that I build-up my shopping stamina to pre-surgery levels.  The other great thing that happened today is that I administered my last lovenox shot, the shots weren't that bad, but I am so glad to not have to do that anymore.  I should add that I am still pretty sore, but everyday the pain is less.

My husband and family say they see a noticeable difference in my appearance, but I don't see it yet. The difference I have noticed is on the scale, which I am happy about.  I will post pictures in my photo gallery tomorrow and you can judge for your self.

The Post Op Experience

I had my surgery Thursday, came home Friday, and as I type this it is Saturday evening.  Surgery went well as far as I can tell and I felt like I had top notch care.  When I woke up from surgery I wasn't in any pain, just extremely thirsty.  It wasn't until today that I feel like my saliva glands started working again.  During my short stay in the hospital I dozed in and out of sleep and I walked the halls several times.  After the anesthesia wore off I felt pain in my abdomen where the drain tube was located under my rib cage.  I so glad to have it taken out.  Getting in and out of bed is still difficult as well as bending over, twisting, or getting up and down.  I am very sore at an incision site on my left side, apparently thats where they take out the part of the stomach that is removed.  It hurts to laugh, sneeze and blow my nose.  And today the pain has got the best of me and I broke down and took 1/2 a dose of pain medicine.  Wow what a difference that made, I feel human again.

On the flip side I was really scared about giving myself the lovenox shots, I have mastered that and have not problem doing it, (yeaaaa me). I don't even feel the stick.  I have also noticed since I have been home I am extra sensitive to smells, like when I was pregnant.  I smell things no one else can smell, it's weird and I hope it goes away.  While in the hospital the nurses encourage you to belch (during surgery you get blown up with CO2) to get the gas out because it's painful if it migrates up into your chest.  Well mine migrated alright, but not to my chest, if you know what I mean.  It's great because when it's time to release the "gas" it's pretty obnoxious in both sound and smell, but I must say it feels so good when it happens....and inadvertently I can't help but laugh, which is painful.  My family is both disgusted and entertained by my behavior, which is exactly how they were prior to WLS.

I also feel as though I have bad breath all the time, like hungry stomach bad breath, maybe I don't but I am erring on the side of caution with a lot of teeth brushing and breath mints.  This could be another one of those smell sensitivities I've developed.  

So, I didn't buy sugar free jello, big mistake.  It is waaaay too sweet and I just didn't like it.  So I got some sugar free jello and it is perfection.  I also love my chicken broth, why didn't I ever eat this stuff before?  Or maybe I love them because I haven't had real food in over a week, yep that's probably it.  I also recommend going to your closest Sonic and buying the biggest bag of Sonic ice they sell.  It helps with hydration and keeps your mouth busy!  I recommend that you walk and do as much as you can tolerate, it helps wake up your digestive tract, helps with healing, and also helps move the gas out of your body.  

Also don't try to wear jeans, even jeans that were very loose in the waist, I did this and was miserable.  Just don't do it.  I will be in my comfy pants as long as I can be from this point on.

Dear food, we're breaking up

Most of us who schedule WLS have to subject ourselves to a required liquid diet.  I have tried a liquid diet type of program before....but I still got to have one meal and a couple snacks as part of that diet.  That is not the case with my required one week pre-op liquid diet.  I know it's one week and I WILL do it, but it is hard.

Today is day three, last night I had a mild meltdown missing food. Let me just say, the protein shakes I drink 3 times per day are pretty good, they are premade and taste like chocolate milk.  They contain 30g of protein and 160 calories per Shake.  I am drinking no less than 96oz of water per day, this helps with hunger...my issue isn't hunger, I haven't been hungery.  

My issue is what a would call  head hunger...you know when you are sitting on the couch watching your favorite shows and for some reason, but not hunger, you are compelled to go to pantry for some potatoe chips. That's what I am dealing with....and something tells me if I paid more attention to this screwed up compulsion may not be at a weight that qualifies me for WLS.

I am a sweets/carb over indulger.  Any cookies, cakes, pasteries, breads, candy, pastas I love them all.  Oddly enough I am not missing these things....yet.  I am craving things that I rarely ever ate....taco bell refried beans, seriously who craves that! I am craving Mexican food, which I have never liked, an Arby's Reuben sandwhich, and Long John Silvers fish drowned in vinegar (mmmmm).  All strange because I don't eat fast food often and because it's not sweets.  

My mind is trying to screw with my success on this liquid diet, it is so hard to not give in.  I keep telling myself it's only 7 days, but I am not even half way through at this point.  I miss food and just want to put something crunchy or chewy in my mouth.

I am going to do this, but in my head I am kicking and screaming all the way and there may be a few times I shed some real tears....my poor family!  

This is it food, this is the real deal and while we've had some good times I think I've loved you more than you've loved me. This is me breaking up with you.  I know you will always be a part of my life, but I am changing the terms of our relationship.  

How did I get here?

Okay not literally how did I get here on earth, but how did I get to this place in my life. Let me just start by saying, or blogging rather, that I have a great life.  I have been married since I was a baby, 19 years old to be exact.  My life prior to marriage wasn't ideal, but no one's is and I have dealt with those demons, or at least that's what I tell myself.  

So why blog and why now?  Well I have come to a crossroads in my life where I am both disgusted with myself and in a place I am serious about doing something to change.  I am blogging because it's cathartic for me and I hope that someone finds what I blog about helpful in someway.

In my personal life am a pretty quiet and introverted.  I like to socialize with my family, friends and colleagues, but I don't go out of my way to insert myself in social situations.  I am happy minding my business and living my life.  You are probably wondering about the disgust with myself I mentioned earlier....  

I WEIGH 240 LBS (yea I said it and put it out there for the world to see) and I am disgusted that I let myself get here.  

I am roughly 5'8" and I haven't always weighed this much.  When I got married I weighed 156lbs. I was young and active and never really thought a lot about my weight or trying to maintain it.  As the years passed I packed on the weight, although I was fairly active and exercised often.  I have yo-yo dieted for years and tried every diet under the sun. I have lost a lot of weight only to gain it back plus some.  Prior to having my son, I weighed 193 pounds, I gained a lot of weight during that pregnancy.  Once the scaled tipped 254lbs I asked the doctor not to let me see my weight.  After I had my son, I had some complications that caused me to not eat, in less than 6 months I was down to 186lbs and I was happy about it. After I was treated for the complications associated with that pregnancy my weight avalanched and I was teetering between 230-240lbs.  With my second child I unintentionally maintained a healthy weight gain for that pregnancy.  I only gained 23lbs and within a year I was back down to 236 lbs, which was my pre pregnancy weight.  

So here I am now, almost 4 years and as many diets later, 240lbs.  For the last three years (while still dieting) I have been researching weight-loss surgery.  I have went to several weight-loss surgery seminars and have settled on a doctor and a procedure.  At this point I am one week away from a different me.  I have chosen the gastric sleeve procedure and today I had a pre-operative EGD completed.  Don't be fooled, I do not expect a quick fix to my obesity. However, I do expect that this procedure will be the tool I need to make better choices and live a healthier, longer life.

I don't like how I look or how I feel physically and more importantly I want to be healthy and set a good example for my kids. So support me on my journey or not, this is my freak show and I get to run it my way.